okay pat passed out under dana's car
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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