we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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