i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
