I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
