Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
