Got a toothbrush?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
