The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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