I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
