In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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