If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize