Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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