I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
