Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Come on in and take your pants off
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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