Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
