ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
