My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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