O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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