Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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