some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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