It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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