And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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