i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
