break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
even my farts smell like vagina
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
