she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
