so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
