I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
