literally had 100 drinks last night.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
