you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
