wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
