do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
