Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
