I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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