so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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