so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
