During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
