I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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