What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
