That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
