I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
