I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
