im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
