Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
