i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
