that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dicks are not precious.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
