girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
