My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I currently don't understand fingers.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
