He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
