good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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