hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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