yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
