i think i have herpe
just one?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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