Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
