Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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