i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
zippers are such a cool invention
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
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